Jeff and I were recently wandering the East Valley (east of Phoenix, that is) and found a Hurricane Simulator at a local mall. Well, what man in his right mind (or even Jeff!) could possibly pass up an opportunity to waste two dollars on a thing like that?
(Please note that I am not making any “two dollar blow job” puns … and that the fact that I bothered to mention the lack of “two dollar blow job” puns is not my sneaky way of fitting one in.)
So he paid his two bucks, stepped inside, shut the door and prepared for devastation. We just moved here after nine years in Florida, so we know from hurricanes. This machine, it appears, does not.
In essence, this giant hair dryer blows wind down from the ceiling and displays the wind-speed on an LED screen on the back wall. It went up to 80 MPH within a minute or so and then immediately dropped back down. Wheee! Just like a real hurricane, minus the flying lawn chairs and flooded living rooms!
After it was all over, he stepped back outside into safety. Uninjured, he waved away the FEMA reps that magically appeared, as they are wont to do. (On a side note, one of my favorite t-shirts is one I bought on Bourbon Street in New Orleans that says “FEMA Evacuation Plan: Run, Bitch, Run!”)
Doesn’t his hair look nice?