Category Archives: Life is Fun!

Wish #1: Ten more wishes

I exercised due diligence to see if there was an official rule against using a pre-granted wish for more wishes and found none. I’ve made my decision to go for it.

Here’s my reasoning, because I’m almost blown out of my chair by the force of so many readers hollering at their screens, “You’re not allowed to wish for more wishes!”

I know, I know. I think the same thought. I’ve seen the same movies and read the same books as you. It does seem as if there is a rule or, at least, a group-think understanding against it.

But is there an actual rule that says ‘No’?

Faeries, as I understand them, feel a hardy distaste for greed. I’m not  big fan of it myself. So I wanted to be extremely careful and respectful in my demeanor toward this gift. If multiple wishes aren’t allowed, I ain’t gonna ask for ’em.

That’s why I bothered to do some research. One doesn’t receive a genuine offer to make a wish by a Faery Godmother without giving that wish serious thought.

I tried to find out if this rule has been officially put down in writing somewhere, aside from fiction and fairy tales. But where on Earth (or beyond) would that be?

Because I can’t pose ‘yes’ or ‘no’ queries to the Oracle who first granted this wish, I couldn’t just ask, “Is this allowed?” I had to find that answer another way.

So, I mentally asked the Faery Godmother to answer my question in another way: show me a sign. I even surfed the internet as an active participant in the search — I’m not just lazily asking to be proven wrong.

I saw nothing. I found nothing.

While waiting for my sign, I spent a few days trying to figure out what I would wish for, in case it turned out that I was only allowed the one.

I also spent that time becoming aware of how often, in everyday life, I would mindlessly begin sentences with the words “I wish …”.

I meant nothing by the phrase. It was just a dramatic way to begin a stream of words pouring through my noggin.

I had to catch myself numerous times. For example, while ridiculously blocked in a grocery store aisle, I caught myself about to mutter, “I wish these people would get out of my way!”.

If I wasn’t more careful, I realized, this could have been granted as my Big Wish, and I would have wasted it on something boring, petulant and completely inconsequential.

I couldn’t believe how often I thought things like that! It was almost constant, as if — because I didn’t normally believe that wishes can come true — there’s no harm in wishing for whatever I wanted, including the vaporizing of random Trader Joe’s shoppers, who were blocking my access to the goat cheese.

Catching myself yammering these childish complaints was like tap-dancing through a landmine, becoming — by necessity — ever more mindful to tiptoe carefully through my unconscious thoughts while I pondered what my one wish would be.

On one such occasion, I was pissing and moaning about not being able to find a parking spot in front of my house, and expressing angry words about what I’d like to see happen to neighbors who got there before me.

With my eyes opened, at long last, I stopped bitching and said, aloud, to the ever-listening Faery Godmother, “I didn’t mean that! That wasn’t my wish!”

Finally — since any careless complaining could be misunderstood as The Wish — I said to her, “When I make my actual wish, it will be out loud and deliberate, okay? Please don’t grant anything that is not in a complete sentence, and spoken aloud, to you.”

And now, because I had asked to be shown if there was a definitive rule against wishing for more wishes and was shown nothing, I’m taking that as my sign.

I feel like the window for wishing that wish is beginning to close. When I look at the picture of the Oracle telling me, “Make a wish”, the magical energy that I originally felt isn’t as strong. It’s beginning to fade, and I’m hearing her gentle instruction: “Say your right words.”

So, I’m going to go ahead and do it.

Wish #1:

I wish for ten more wishes, please.

Thank you.

And, of course, here’s you a dog, dressed as a genie.


lisa author shotLisa Bonnice is an award-winning, best-selling author. Her current passion-project is a series of metaphysical comedy novels. The first in the series is Be Careful What You Witch For!, a modern-day fairy tale about Lola Garnett, a bored housewife and office drone who wakes up with unexpected psychic abilities, and no instruction manual, and Twink, the reluctant, sarcastic faery assigned to assist and educate her. Its sequel, Patterns in the Chaos, is in the works.

http://www.lisabonnice.com

What should I wish for?

If you read my most recent blog, you know that I have been granted a wish by my Faery Godmother. You also know that my first order of business is to determine whether or not I am allowed to wish for more wishes.

It’s the first thing many of us would ask for, if given the chance, but is it allowed? A Facebook poll of my friends shows that many believe that it’s not. But has anyone ever seen an official rule-book that says we can’t, or is the fabled limit just poetic license to make fairy tales more interesting?

The answer to these questions determine my future, so I’m not using my wish just yet. I don’t want to squander a unique opportunity. While I search for a definitive answer, those questions invite more to come forth, like:

  1. If I can wish for more, how many should I ask for? Unlimited wishes might be a bit much. Not only would it feel greedy, unlimited wishes might dilute the adventure of life on planet Earth.
  2. Would 10 be enough? I think it would because — if carefully worded — the first three ought to be enough to set me up for life, especially at my age. I only have a few decades left (I don’t think I’d wish to be immortal, but that’s a topic for another blog). The extra seven could be used as gifts or in case of emergency.
  3. If I am allowed 10 wishes, what would they be — especially those first three?
  4. If I can’t wish for more, what will my one wish be?
  5. Is it true that one should use a single wish for someone else, that the most blessed course of action is to give away something so priceless?

So, you see, there’s a lot to think about while I search for the answer to the primary question: am I allowed to wish for more wishes?

Meantime, here’s you a Fairy God Dog:


lisa author shotLisa Bonnice is an award-winning, best-selling author. Her current passion-project is a series of metaphysical comedy novels. The first in the series is Be Careful What You Witch For!, a modern-day fairy tale about Lola Garnett, a bored housewife and office drone who wakes up with unexpected psychic abilities, and no instruction manual, and Twink, the reluctant, sarcastic faery assigned to assist and educate her. Its sequel, Patterns in the Chaos, is in the works.

http://www.lisabonnice.com

If offered one wish, can we wish for more?

 

I have an oracle app on my phone called Faces of Faerie, by Brian Froud, the designer of movies like The Dark Crystal and Labyrinth. The oracle told me “Make a wish” and this got me thinking:

What if I really had been granted a wish?

At first I considered the old standard “I wish for all the money I’ll ever need”, but I decided to take this seriously, just for fun. I’ve seen the movie Bedazzled (a comedy about a man named Elliot Richards who sells his soul for seven wishes) and even wrote a comedy novel called Be Careful What You Witch For! about a woman who wishes for a more interesting life and gets it.    

Mayhem can happen if you mess around with something like this. “Fools rush in,” they say.

Then I thought, “What if I wish for more wishes?”

A flood of stories filled my head about characters who have been granted a wish and were told that’s not allowed.

But is that true?

Is there really a rule somewhere that says you can’t wish for more wishes? If so, says who? And, are they the boss of me?

I’ve been granted a wish and I want to spend it wisely. I don’t want to end up like Elliot Richards who asks to be the most sensitive man in the world and gets what he wishes for!

Given the opportunity, what would you wish for?

By the way, here’s you some disruptive dogs!


lisa author shotLisa Bonnice is an award-winning, best-selling author. Her current passion-project is a series of metaphysical comedy novels. The first in the series is Be Careful What You Witch For!, a modern-day fairy tale about Lola Garnett, a bored housewife and office drone who wakes up with unexpected psychic abilities, and no instruction manual, and Twink, the reluctant, sarcastic faery assigned to assist and educate her. Its sequel, Patterns in the Chaos, is in the works.

http://www.lisabonnice.com

Lisa & Jeff go to White Castle

lisa-and-jeff-go-to-white-castle-copy

There are no White Castle‘s anywhere near us so in January 2015, when Jeff heard that a new one was opening in Las Vegas, he immediately declared that we must go.

He craves a bag o’ sliders. Neither of us has had a White Castle burger in about five years. Unfortunately, Vegas is almost six hours away from Phoenix, where we live, so it has taken a long while for us to finally get up the time, the money and the energy to make the trek.

This weekend, we are finally going. I hope they’re as good as I remember.

Ode to Home Fries

Image shamelessly stolen from https://happydomesticity.wordpress.com/2013/03/31/crispy-home-fries/, but with a link to this great recipe to make up for it.

Image shamelessly stolen from https://happydomesticity.wordpress.com/2013/03/31/crispy-home-fries, but with a link to this great recipe to make up for it.


Once upon a time, I worked as a standup comic. This means that I spent more than my fair share of time eating in diners after “closing time.” I wrote this poem back then and recently found it in an old notebook. I’m posting it here for posterity.

It’s three in the morning, the bars are all closed.
I’m with all my friends here at Denny’s.

It’s been a long evening, we’ve hung in there well.
In fact, no one has passed out but Jenny.

And here comes our waitress, hair perfectly coiffed,
a run in her hose, that’s the truth.

She pours us some coffee, slaps down a few menus,
while Tommy barfs in the next booth.

“May I take your order?” our waitress inquires,
while casually scratching her butt.

The couple beside us is kissing with lust.
Do I have to watch all this smut?

My friends place their orders. It’s my turn, you see.
A sparkle appears in my eyes.

I know what I want, I’ve been waiting all night.
I want bacon and eggs and home fries.

Home fries, o’ home fries, a pagan delight.
O’ where did you get your sweet name?

I’m sure that some housewife made you up in a rush,
then went on to seek fortune and fame.

Great hunks o’ taters, fried to a crisp,
Tasty cubes all golden and brown.

Not often in life is one able to find
such a food that turn frowns upside down.

My friends are done eating. They sit back and they belch.
They talk about ordering pie.

Not me, I’m not finished. I’m just getting started.
“Oh, waitress! Bring me more home fries!”

***

The irony is that I don’t particularly like home fries. I prefer hash browns. But the words “home fries” are funnier. Or so I seemed to think, back then.


Lisa Bonnice is the author of five books, including Shape Shifting–reclaiming YOUR perfect body (with a foreword by Neale Donald Walsch) and the comedy novel, Be Careful What You Witch For!

 

My experience with Chakradance

My friend Emma Porter is a Chakradance™ facilitator. For a long while I’ve wanted to participate in one of her workshops, and was finally able to this morning. I’m happy to report that it’s just as wonderful as she promised, and more.

Click this image for a great article on the chakra system.

Click here to learn about the chakra system.

“What is Chakradance?” you ask. Good question. I didn’t know either. I knew what chakras are, I knew what dancing is, but I couldn’t imagine how one would combine them. Here’s a description from the Chakradance website:

In a darkened room, lit only by candle-light, we move to music created to resonate with the vibrations of each of our 7 major chakras.  We dance with our eyes mainly closed, and our attention turned inwards, for unlike most other dance practices, Chakradance is about making a connection with our inner world – the world of our imagination, feelings, intuition and senses.

dancingbabyAt first, I felt a little weird. I’m open to new experiences, but I’m slightly uncomfortable dancing in front of other people. As my friend Leanne said,  “I don’t want to be the ‘old lady’ on the dance floor.” I know exactly what she means. Neither of us are going to be out there twerking any time soon.

But this isn’t dancing, per se. It’s a moving meditation. In fact, you don’t even have to dance (you can if you want to, but you don’t have to). You can sit or even lie down, which is good because I am currently dealing with an ankle injury that made it hard for me to meditate2this2stand for very long. So I sat down halfway through and “chair danced”, and the experience was just as deep.

I attended the “7 Keys to Freedom” workshop, which includes nine songs: seven designed to resonate with each individual chakra, and two more as intro and outro music. For each song, Emma gives specific guided instructions, which I found to be extremely powerful and easy to follow.

A couple of people in the workshop with me described it, afterwards, as taking a journey into themselves. Emma said that she’s heard that before. I can see why. It really is like entering an altered state and taking a trip into your inner being. I don’t know how else to describe it. You’d have to be there.

I’ve listened to all sorts of recorded chakra-balancing and guided meditations over the years, but there is something very different about this. I was truly surprised by how effective the experience was.

The best part was Emma, herself. She gets so much joy out of facilitating these workshops that she makes you feel welcome, comfortable and ready to participate. If you’re in the Phoenix, AZ area, and want to give it a try, check out Emma’s website for her schedule of events. And if you’re not, or would like to just try it at home, you can purchase DVDs and CDs at their site. Save 10% with discount code: EMMA

chakradance

The Goddess of Hummingbirds

I have two hummingbird feeders hanging from my second floor balcony. I love sitting out there and watching all of the birds in the nearby tree, but I especially love watching the hummingbirds.

I love the view from my patio.

I love the view from my patio.

I didn’t know, before I hung the first feeder (I started with the one on the far left), that hummingbirds are extremely territorial and downright vicious when it comes to protecting their food source.

One bird in particular laid claim to the feeder and wouldn’t let anyone else near it. He would sit on a nearby branch, chirping, and at first I thought he was singing a song of hummingbird happiness, “Look at all the food! Isn’t life grand? Hey, Other Hummingbirds, look what I found! Come join me!”

But once I Googled “hummingbird behavior” I discovered that what he’s really saying is, “This food is mine, bitches! You come near, you die!”

Say hello to my little friend.

Say hello to my little friend.

Whoa. Not so friendly.

So I bought another feeder and hung it at the other end of the patio, hoping that some of the other hummingbirds in the area would get a chance to eat.

I was wrong. That little bugger sits up in the tree, practically screaming, like Daffy Duck in Ali Baba’s cave, “Mine! Mine! Mine!” Any bird that dares approach gets dive bombed and chased away.

It’s funny to watch how the other birds seem to work together: “I’ll distract him, while you go get a quick sip. Then it’s your turn to have my back.” Meantime, Mr. Grabby spends his entire existence chasing and screaming, to protect an overabundance of food. He never gets a chance to relax and enjoy.

I wonder if that’s how the Universe works. It gives me all I need, and enjoys doing so, but I’m too busy stressing out and protecting what’s “Mine!” to notice. What if I’m sitting on my branch, freaking out whenever it looks like someone else is dipping into what I feel is a limited supply? After all, once in a while those feeders get empty and then they disappear for what feels like an eternity.

What if, while my feeders are gone–and it feels like the world has come to an end because my supply has disappeared–it’s just because the Big U is cleaning them and cooking up a new batch of sugar water for me?