Tag Archives: Stupid commercials

Tater Mitts!!!

Maybe you’ve seen the Tater Mitts commercial. I have, and I immediately knew that our home had to have a pair. So guess what Jeff got for Christmas, in addition to the Swiney’s Irish Pub t-shirt and propeller beanie! (That’s our Christmas Tree, behind him–a string of lights tacked to the wall, because we’re moving and didn’t have the time or energy to put up and decorate a tree.)

It wasn’t just the ad that sold me.

It was the fact that I cannot even think of Tater Mitts without being flashed back to this scene from That 70s Show. As you read the headline of this blog, you must say it as though you are Laurie, yelling “Tater Nuts!!! Tater Nuts!!!” because that’s how I’m hearing it in my head: “Tater Mitts!!! Tater Mitts!!!”

So, yeah, Jeff got this goofy gift simply because I wanted to indulge my sophomoric sense of humor.

Anyway, I didn’t realize when I picked up the box that it comes with a “free” French fry slicer! A Bonus Slicer! This was a boon from a kind and beneficent Universe, because our Christmas dinner was supposed to include baked potatoes, but we won’t have oven space and we were trying to figure out what to have instead. Enter the Tater Mitts and the Bonus Slicer. We’re having French Fries!

Now, one thing that ad doesn’t mention is that you have to boil the potatoes for six minutes first. What this does is cook the skin and just the layer of potato below the skin, so the skin will–theoretically–just come off when you rub it with the Tater Mitts.

Well, here’s how it worked:

After what was waaaay more than eight seconds, as claimed in the commercial, Jeff finally stopped trying. In case you’d like to know how this adventure ends, I suggest that you read an old, old blog post of mine:

Ode to a potato peeler

Lest you think I forgot to end this blog with a dog, here is the That 70s Show gang, “dogging” on Kelso, in one of Ashton Kutcher’s better scenes.

The fading power of “beauty” ads

I’ll admit it, I spend more time than I really should yelling at the TV when I see an ad trying to sell me a product to help boost my low self-esteem (which was fine until the ad told me how much I suck). But last night, I am happy to report, I saw a foretelling of the end of that era.

You know the ads: you’re too fat, you’re too old, your hair isn’t shiny enough, your floors are grotesque, your clothes are “puh-leez!” Teeth whitening ads, where a glistening beauty believes that she can’t get married because her teeth aren’t white enough–even though they are beyond perfect as is–are the latest in a ridiculous series of this type.

Fortunately, I’m finally of an age where I know that it’s a “Buyers Beware” market  and that most TV is pure crap. I don’t watch it much anymore. However, impressionable young minds buy into the brainwashing that their natural state of being needs expensive sneakers to improve the condition of their asses.

I am happy to report that advertisers have officially run out of things to make us feel bad about. Witness the following commercial where they tell us that scratching your head will turn off a cute guy:

I dare say that the vast majority of men won’t even notice that you are scratching your head, unless the movement is making your boobs jiggle. And in that case, they wouldn’t want you buying a shampoo to solve that problem!

Yes, if that’s the best they can do, then I’d say they have run out of steam. Can I hear a “Hallelujah!”?