Does lack of money keep you fat?

As the author of Shape Shifting–reclaiming YOUR perfect body, I hear from a lot of readers that money issues sometimes keep them from taking proper care of themselves. They feel that they have to focus too much time on financially surviving, and there is no time left for themselves. So just for fun, I’m posing the question: If someone offered you a million dollars to reach a reasonable weight/fitness goal by the end of the year, could you do it? If so, how?

Just to make it easier for you, your living expenses are all paid for between now and then. Money is no longer an issue. You have all the free time you need to really take care of yourself. But if you don’t make that goal, you have to pay it all back.

What would you change about your life in order to meet that goal? You’ve just signed the contract and now it’s time to begin. What would you do first, and then what would be your follow-up actions?

If it was me, if money was literally no object, I would begin by setting up some doctor’s appointments because I have some crazy health issues that I don’t have a handle on because I can’t afford the kind of health care that I need. Standard doctors have been unable to help me, and since none of it is life threatening, I just have to live with it and hope to someday be able to afford to find some help.

Potato and Radicchio Flatbread (Photo credit: drmiggy)

In the meantime, I would hire someone to do all of my meal planning, shopping, cooking and cleaning. That person would take in mind all of my body’s needs with regard to sugar, gluten, organics and GMOs, etc. I would be eating the diet that is truly healthy for me and makes me feel good.

Yoga at Wellspring Vancouver (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Next, because money is no object and I don’t have to spend all of my headspace worrying about working instead of working out, I’d join a gym and hire a personal trainer who would be nice to me, and take into consideration how out of shape I’ve gotten due to having to sit at a desk to earn a living. This person would care about me as an individual, not bark commands and belittle me if I wasn’t able to keep up at first.

Boy, it’s no wonder celebrities can look the way they do. They can afford all of this, and plastic surgery, too!

Is lack of money keeping you fat? How is money keeping you stuck in a body you’re not happy with? What would you do if money was no object?

Are there any changes that you could make right now that don’t cost anything?

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Lisa Bonnice is the author of several books, including Shape Shifting–reclaiming YOUR perfect body. Visit her website to learn more about Shape Shifting, and the Shape Shifting Book Study Group on facebook.

When a private story goes public

This past week, my co-author Stacey M. Kananen‘s life has been splashed all over the airwaves and internet (admittedly, I’ve been doing some of that splashing). See, Stacey was horribly abused as a child and then, as an adult, accused of murdering both of her parents. When she was found not guilty, she asked me to co-author her life story so she can tell what happened from her perspective.

Tampa Bay Times, Douglas R. Clifford photographer

Up until then, the only story that the public knew was what the media and the prosecuting attorney were telling them, and they were making her sound like a murderer who got away with heinous crimes.

On March 3 (and subsequent rerun dates), a portion of that story was told on the Investigation Discovery series, Catch My Killer (episode title: The Dearly Departed–watch: Catch My Killer promo video).

While the show was mostly accurate (only a couple wince-inducing inaccuracies and one flat-out lie from a “witness,” but that’s to be expected when someone who wasn’t there is telling a story), they could only tell so much of the story in the allotted time frame of sixty minutes. Her trial was only mentioned in the final couple minutes, and a lot of important details were left out. But, again, they only had one hour to tell a very complex story.

But that’s where the book comes in. Fear of Our Father tells the whole story, from her childhood to the aftermath of her trial. It clears up any questions left dangling by the TV show’s brevity. It explains why she’s so passionate about starting up her own advocacy program. Yes, there are many programs out there, most started up by people who’ve lived through similar abuse like Jaycee Dugard and Elizabeth Smart. They all have their own take on what could work, and so does Stacey.

What impresses me most about Stacey is that she has come to terms with the fact that her incredibly private story is now out there for all the world to see and comment on. While her trial aired on In Session, viewers posted horrible things about her and her family, many forgetting that they were watching the suffering of real people, not characters in a movie. This book is Stacey M. Kananen taking charge of her life, for the very first time.

The Tampa Bay Times printed a very good article last week, and I’m very happy for Stacey that she is finally getting to tell her story. Here’s hoping that this is just the beginning of a successful new journey for her.

“Fear of our Father” on Investigation Discovery

Last September, my co-author Stacey M. Kananen and I traveled to Orlando to participate in our very first (and hopefully not our last) national television show based on Stacey’s incredible life story and our upcoming book, Fear of our Father.

Stacey being hooked up to her wireless microphone.

We’ve had to keep quiet about it until an official airdate was scheduled, and you better believe that was hard to do! The show, which will air March 3, 2013 on the Investigation Discovery channel (also known as ID), is called Catch My Killer.

The show is about cold cases, and they were interested in featuring the Kananen family’s saga because her father was “missing”– buried under the garage floor of the family home–for fifteen years before police discovered that he was dead, killed with a single bullet to the head.

While the reason for  the book’s existence is sad and horrifying, participating in the taping of this show was an incredible experience. In case you’re not familiar with Stacey’s story, here is a synopsis (from the book cover):

Even after a childhood of abuse and fear, Stacey M. Kananen was shocked when her brother, Rickie, admitted his guilt in the cold-blooded murder of their terrifying father, and years later, their helpless mother. But the greatest shock was to come—when he claimed that Stacey had helped him.

In 1988, when Rickie and Stacey’s father, Richard Kananen Sr., apparently left their home in Orlando, Florida, the family was so relieved that they never reported him missing. Fifteen years later to the day, their mother disappeared. When police became suspicious, Rickie admitted to Stacey that their father’s body was under the cement floor of their mother’s garage, and their mother was buried in Stacey’s own backyard.

Overwhelmed by grief and horror, Stacey’s brother convinced her that they should commit suicide. After a failed attempt, she woke to discover her brother arrested—along with the realization that he had probably never intended to kill himself at all. But his betrayals were not yet over: On the eve of his trial in 2007, he suddenly claimed Stacey had been in on it, and she found herself charged with murder with a gung ho rookie detective who was convinced she was involved.

This is the tragic and triumphant account of one woman’s struggle to overcome her past, clear her name in what would become a dramatic public spectacle of a trial, and finally escape the nightmares that had haunted her entire life.

Susan Cowan’s interview.

I haven’t seen the show yet, but the production crew was so professional and easy to work with that I’m sure they did an incredible job piecing together all of the interviews with the dramatization of the crimes and Stacey’s trial.

They asked Stacey the hard questions, the same questions that you would want to ask, and she was forthcoming with her responses. It was difficult for her to, once again, relive the abuse, the murders and the trial but she came through like a champ.

The crew gets some “B-roll” footage of Stacey and Susan looking at family photos.

We’re hoping for some big things as a result of this book. Stacey has already been featured on an Emmy-nominated BBC documentary, America’s Child Death Shame, and our fledgling advocacy program, currently called Amnesty From Abuse (that could change, as the program evolves) is an exciting new and holistic way of working with dysfunctional and abusive families.

Stacey’s reasons for writing a book are sort of contradicted by the fact that it’s being published in the “true crime” genre, but the story is so compelling that it’s so much more than just an autobiography. Our intent is that the book will bring attention to the fact that we, as a society, still have not come up with a workable solution to the overwhelming amount of domestic violence that still takes place in our country, where we like to think of ourselves as enlightened and evolved. In some ways, we still have a lot of work to do. I, for one, am thankful that Stacey is willing to set aside her desire to live a private life and step into the public arena in this way.

Fear of Our Father is available for pre-order now. The official publication date is June 4, 2013.

Anything I want

I was at a “Creative Creation” class and the instructor suggested a little game for us. He pointed to a bookshelf that held several decks of Tarot and Oracle cards and told us all to pick up a deck. He didn’t want us to use the cards to do readings, he said that he wanted us to pull random cards and each build a story out of them. Everyone grabbed a deck and settled in on the floor to begin.

I saw, on the shelf, a bag of Scrabble tiles and I told him I’d rather use them, so I could spell out anything I want. He said that would be okay, but suggested that I make it a little more challenging. He said that I could use the little books that come with the decks to pick out random words and build a sentence out of those.

I grabbed the books and the tiles and sat them down on the floor in front of me. I picked up the first book, closed my eyes, opened a page and plopped my finger down on a word on the left side of the center binding. I opened my eyes and was delighted to see that I was pointing at the word “anything.” I laughed and told everyone, “Check it out! My first word was ‘anything’!”

Everyone was just as tickled by this coincidence as I was, as I picked out the letter tiles and spelled out the word on the floor. I picked up another book, and repeated the process. I was a little spooked to see, when I opened my eyes, that I was pointing at the word “I.”

I found the letter tile and put it next to the tiles that were spelling out the first word in my Creative Creation sentence. I said to everyone, “What are the odds that I pick the right word from the last book?” We all laughed and agreed that it would be amazing and awesome, but somewhat unlikely.

I picked up another book, closed my eyes and pointed. I opened my eyes and the gravity of what I saw shook me. I dug through the tiles and completed my sentence:

Anything I want.

I closed my eyes again and when I opened them I saw that I was in my own bed, in my own room, with Jeff snoring softly beside me. I could smell the timer-set coffee brewing in the kitchen and heard the sounds of the garbage truck down the street, picking up cans and crashing them back down to the curb. It was just a dream.

Life is but a dream, isn’t it?

Here’s you a dog playing Scrabble:

My one resolution: No More Apologies!

I gave up New Year’s Resolutions a long time ago. This one just happens to coincide with the start of a New Year, so I might as well claim it as a “resolution” (although, doesn’t that automatically doom it to only last until February? Eeek!).

Anyway, it has come to my attention that one of my biggest personality defects, for lack of a better phrase, is that I voluntarily give my power away to the lowest bidder. As soon as anyone casts doubt on something I say or do, I instantly cave in and cry “Uncle!” even if I honestly felt that I was in the right before they said anything.

This isn’t news, really. I’ve always known that I do this, but I also thought that it was because I was wrong, after all! One of the things I’ve always liked about my personality is that I’m very willing to see both sides of a story and admit when I’m wrong. I am, naturally, a very fair person — TO OTHER PEOPLE! When I’m right, however, I rarely stand up for myself and say so. That’s the problem.

With Neale Donald Walsch, shortly after he offered, without even being asked, to write a foreword for my first book.

Even Neale Donald Walsch noticed this about me, when I had only known him a couple hours. He had just found a copy of my first book that day, and he volunteered to write a foreword for its second edition. That evening, he was raving about it to a crowd of about fifty people while I sat in the audience, ecstatic to hear someone of his professional stature saying such amazing things about my work. He announced before an entire room of my respected peers that he would do whatever he could to help me get the book seen, “…because she doesn’t even believe in her own work!” He could see better than I could my extreme fear of someone reading the book and disputing its veracity, even though I was very careful while writing it to make sure that couldn’t happen.

My fear of being proven wrong or laughed at because I made a mistake has kept me from succeeding, even when I know I’m right. I downplay my spiritual beliefs for fear of ridicule by friends and family members who are either atheists or believers of a standard religion’s doctrine, even though I KNOW how to tap into the power of the Universe and make it swirl into whatever I want it to be.

All these years, I was sort of proud of my ability to be so humble. The problem is, it hasn’t been humility, it’s been fear.

Over the last week, I’ve read a couple books that have given me a whole new way of looking at this issue: Will I Ever Be Good Enough? and Realms of the Earth Angels.

The first offers a “real-world” look at psychological reasons for this kind of behavior, which is called the Impostor Syndrome. BOY, did I relate to that!!!

The second offers a “New Age” look at spiritual reasons for this, and suggests that it might be caused by vows taken in past lives to stay quiet and not rock the boat, or draw attention to myself. That feels so true, so on the money, and I’m not even gonna apologize for resonating with this, even though last week I would have.

Talk about a double whammy! And just in time to claim my power back for a New Year! Look out, 2013, Lisa Bonnice finally believes in and claims her own power!

Here’s you a magical dog!

Change the blade

ME (in the shower, thinking, as I shave my legs): I only have one new razor blade left, but this one is going dull. I can feel it tearing into my skin. I really should change it, but they’re so expensive.

INNER CHEERLEADER: Wait a minute, not taking care of myself when I need to is a ‘lack of abundance’ mindset. I need to change the blade and declare to the Universe, “I can afford all the razor blades I need.”

ME: Yeah, but we really don’t have the income right now for something that has become a borderline luxury. That’s fine ‘pie in the sky’ thinking, but the reality is I really should be frugal. I’d hate to be so poor someday that I can’t afford even that and look back on today, thinking, “God, I was so wasteful back then. I wish I’d had the foresight to not blow through the last of our money.”

INNER CHEERLEADER: Oh my god, listen to all that negative talk! I am powerful! I am the creator of my life! I am abundant! I am prosperous, and phooey on that negative karma!

ME: Yeah, but there’s no reason that razors should be so expensive! Have you seen the price of them lately? And I really resent the forced upgrades that all of the brands are doing, adding more and more blades, and making the triple-bladed kind, which I was just fine with, obsolete. In fact, the brand I used to buy regularly before the upgrades don’t even work that well anymore. I wonder if the manufacturers use deliberately dulled blades in the older versions so we consumers have to buy the higher priced ones.

INNER CHEERLEADER: What are you, a conspiracy theorist now? The new, quadruple bladed ones work better because of new technology and advancements in their research.

ME: Maybe, but still …

(the razor handle slips out of my soapy hand, falls to floor of tub and the cartridge pops off)

BOOMING VOICE: Oh, for fuck’s sake, change the blade already!

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Moral: the more of your old shit you let go of, the less time you’ll waste on inner dialogs like this.

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Here’s you a shaved dog:

To beat or not to beat — not much of a question

I didn’t make a deadline I set for myself. It was one that I was taking seriously, but I was still unable to make it. In the olde days, I would have given myself a thorough and long lasting thrashing about how much I suck. Fortunately I’ve grown up a little and that is no longer my reaction. Instead, I’ve decided to see what I’ve learned from this.

The deadline was to complete 50,000 words toward a new novel in one month, by participating in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month), a contest that one wages against oneself. I could have probably pulled it off if my household had not experienced an economic disaster, the kind that so many other families are living through while our society rewrites itself. So, yeah, I was a little distracted. It has taken me this long to begin to feel like every little thing is gonna be alright.

On the plus side, I did get over 30,000 words written, and the storyline itself is pretty much finished in my head. All that’s left is the “scribbling and bibbling.” I’ve fallen in love with the new characters and am enjoying fleshing out the folks we got to know in Book 1. I’ve renewed some good work habits that I let go lax since I finished my last book (I needed a break) and am enjoying writing again. This is going to be a fun book.

So, I may not have met that goal, but I am certainly further along on that project than I would have been if I hadn’t even tried.

Yay, me!

Yay, me!

Along those lines, today is my 52^nd birthday. I refuse to wallow in fear and self-pity about what is going on in the personal side of my life. That’s what I’ve spent the past couple weeks doing, and that’s what derailed me in this contest. I know it’s up to me to change how shitty that has made me feel.

So, as a birthday gift to myself, I’ve written a new bio, because even with my ego pushed aside, I have to admit it’s a pretty doggone interesting story (even if it is long–52 years worth). I’m going to, just for today, toot my own horn without apology. If you’re interested, you can read it here, on my bio page.