I slept on Bob Odenkirk’s floor

Most of us have occasional brushes with fame. I’ve blogged about a couple (like the time I got to hang out with Emo Philips), but forgot about this one until I saw Bob Odenkirk on The Daily Show last week, promoting his new show–Breaking Bad‘s spinoff Better Call Saul. Seeing him brought back a memory of the time (cue flashback/harp music) I slept on his living room floor, in Chicago, in the late 1980s.


I was just starting my comedy career, in Fort Wayne, Indiana. I had done enough open mic nights to feel like I was ready to start looking for minor league paying gigs.

Fort Wayne is only a three and a half hour drive from Chicago, a comedy mecca at the time. A friend, Chicago comic Jimmy Wiggins, told me that when I was ready he would find a place for me to crash for a night or two and set me up with some local open mics.

Jimmy lived on Lincoln Avenue, across the street from the famous Biograph Theater, where John Dillinger was shot. Jimmy had a girlfriend who, while friendly enough, didn’t cotton to the idea of a strange young woman crashing on his couch, so he set me up a couple doors down at an apartment shared by a few other comics–one of whom was Bob Odenkirk.

I’m sure Bob has no memory of this at all. I remember him, however, because he was about to start writing for Saturday Night Live, and other newbie comics talked about him with respect and awe.

Bob was friendly enough. He was on his way out for the night when I arrived. He told me to make myself at home and have a good show that evening.

If memory serves, the apartment was above a famous Lincoln Park club called Lounge Ax. If not directly above, it was very close by. My night on his floor was barely memorable. It was hard wood. I think I had a sleeping bag. I don’t remember if there was a couch and, if so, why I didn’t sleep on that instead of the floor.

In the morning, I got up and headed back to Fort Wayne, after Bob gave me directions to a convenient place down the block to grab some orange juice and a donut for the road.

And that is pretty much the entire story.

Hey, I never promised it would be interesting, did I?

 

How to read the Tarot: Minor Arcana

Once again, I have taken a fascinating class at Vision Quest Metaphysical Bookstore, this one taught by Geri, another one of their gifted house psychics. This class was on reading the Tarot, with a focus on the Minor Arcana.

Geri, a natural born medium, was an excellent instructor. In the span of just a couple of hours, I now understand the meanings of the cards in the Minor Arcana (Ace through King) much more clearly. Sure, it will take some practice and probably a few more classes to totally get it, but I’ve got a good start.

For those of you who are interested, here is Geri’s take on the meanings of each of the suits:

Coins/Pentacles: Money, lifestyle, health, love life and travel
Swords: Legal issues, military enforcement, strength, and truth
Wands: Intelligence, knowledge, information and teaching
Cups: Spirituality, emotion, intuition, articulate communication

And here are the basic meanings for each card:

Ace: Matrix of the suit
2: Partnership
3: Outside influences
4: Foundation, cornerstone of circumstances
5: Drama magnet, something is going on, catalyst
6: Coming together, meeting a need, assimilating
7: Physical recognition
8: Infinity, harmony, organization, ready for change
9: Spiritual completion
10: Total completion
Page: Young person, still learning, could be male or female
Knight: Helper to King and/or Queen
Queen: Feminine influence on suit
King: Masculine influence on suit

She went through, one at a time, each of the cards in the Minor Arcana, explaining their meanings. Obviously that is way too much to write about here in this blog (it was, after all, a two hour class), but if you put the suit meaning together with the card meaning, you’ll get the gist.

If you’re in the Phoenix area, check out her next Tarot class on 2/15/2015, the same day I’ll be teaching my next Shape Shifting class!


Lisa Bonnice is the author of five books, including Shape Shifting–reclaiming YOUR perfect body (with a foreword by Neale Donald Walsch) and the comedy novel, Be Careful What You Witch For!

Ode to Home Fries

Image shamelessly stolen from https://happydomesticity.wordpress.com/2013/03/31/crispy-home-fries/, but with a link to this great recipe to make up for it.

Image shamelessly stolen from https://happydomesticity.wordpress.com/2013/03/31/crispy-home-fries, but with a link to this great recipe to make up for it.


Once upon a time, I worked as a standup comic. This means that I spent more than my fair share of time eating in diners after “closing time.” I wrote this poem back then and recently found it in an old notebook. I’m posting it here for posterity.

It’s three in the morning, the bars are all closed.
I’m with all my friends here at Denny’s.

It’s been a long evening, we’ve hung in there well.
In fact, no one has passed out but Jenny.

And here comes our waitress, hair perfectly coiffed,
a run in her hose, that’s the truth.

She pours us some coffee, slaps down a few menus,
while Tommy barfs in the next booth.

“May I take your order?” our waitress inquires,
while casually scratching her butt.

The couple beside us is kissing with lust.
Do I have to watch all this smut?

My friends place their orders. It’s my turn, you see.
A sparkle appears in my eyes.

I know what I want, I’ve been waiting all night.
I want bacon and eggs and home fries.

Home fries, o’ home fries, a pagan delight.
O’ where did you get your sweet name?

I’m sure that some housewife made you up in a rush,
then went on to seek fortune and fame.

Great hunks o’ taters, fried to a crisp,
Tasty cubes all golden and brown.

Not often in life is one able to find
such a food that turn frowns upside down.

My friends are done eating. They sit back and they belch.
They talk about ordering pie.

Not me, I’m not finished. I’m just getting started.
“Oh, waitress! Bring me more home fries!”

***

The irony is that I don’t particularly like home fries. I prefer hash browns. But the words “home fries” are funnier. Or so I seemed to think, back then.


Lisa Bonnice is the author of five books, including Shape Shifting–reclaiming YOUR perfect body (with a foreword by Neale Donald Walsch) and the comedy novel, Be Careful What You Witch For!

 

A metaphysical face lift

I swiped this image from www.wisegeek.net/how-common-is-a-fear-of-age.htm. It's an interesting article. Why not pay them a visit after reading this blog?

I swiped this image from www.wisegeek.net/how-common-is-a-fear-of-age.htm. It’s an interesting article. Why not pay them a visit after reading this blog?

I was looking in the mirror, bemoaning my age. “Moan!” I said, “my age!” I poked up the skin under my ears with my forefingers, tightening my jawline, and instantly looked twenty years younger.

For the record, I’m not one of those people who chases youth, but I’m not necessarily thrilled to see what’s happening à mon visage. I don’t look bad, but the years are definitely showing. I am, after all, 54. I’m allowed.

Not looking too bad for 54, eh? BTW, I'm not really a VIP. Jeff and I went to see Brian Regan at Comerica Theater in Phoenix a couple days ago and Jeff found this "red carpet" spot to take some pics. :-D

Not looking too bad for 54, eh? BTW, I’m not really a VIP. Jeff and I went to see Brian Regan at Comerica Theater in Phoenix a couple days ago and Jeff found this “red carpet” spot to take some pics. :-D

Anyway, I was looking in the mirror and asked, “Pardon me, Healing Guides and Helper Spirits, can you help me to look a little younger? Sort of a metaphysical face lift? You know, move some molecules around, make me look a little better.”

I was hoping that someone was listening and taking notes so, for good measure, I added, “I’m not asking for startling miracles. It’s just that I didn’t appreciate it when I was young. I was too busy to notice that I even had smooth skin and tight jaw line. Could I have a little of it back, if I promise to appreciate it this time?”

Here was my answer: I got a sudden image of myself in twenty years, staring at myself in the mirror and asking the same question, because I didn’t bother to appreciate the youth I have now, at this age.

I’m still hoping for a spirit-assisted face lift, but I think I got the key to start the rejuvenation process.


Lisa Bonnice is the author of five books, including Shape Shifting–reclaiming YOUR perfect body (with a foreword by Neale Donald Walsch) and the comedy novel, Be Careful What You Witch For!

Lisa will be teaching a class at Vision Quest Metaphysical Bookstore in Phoenix, AZ on January 11, 2014 entitled, “Make New Year’s Resolutions work for you, with Shape Shifting“.

Who knew your astrological “North Node” was so important?

OLDMAP1


I attended a class recently on Mediumship, at Vision Quest Bookstore in Phoenix, and the instructor mentioned, in passing, that one’s “North Node” is one of the most important aspects of one’s astrological chart. Once mind blownI got home, I looked it up and proceeded to get my mind blown.

I’m not going to explain what a node is–here is a link to a Google search. There are a zillion blogs and books out there that have that covered, so why reinvent the wheel? In a nutshell, the South Node is about your karma from other lifetimes, and the North Node is what you’re here to learn this time around.

First, click here to find out where your North Node is. Then, find your matching link on the right side of that same page. If you don’t have access to your chart to see which house your North Node is in, you can go to http://www.astro.com to create one.

chartI’ve learned that, with my North Node in Virgo and South Node automatically in Pisces–because Pisces is diametrically opposed to Virgo–I’ve spent numerous lifetimes perfecting my psychic abilities. It explains why I am so empathic and keenly interested in the topic of metaphysics.

It also explains why it’s so hard for me to be interested in the physical world (I’d much rather be meditating, or reading, or living in my head). My challenge, this lifetime, is to leave my psychic studies behind, and get out there and be physical.

But

My North Node is also in the 12th House, which is ruled by Pisces. This flip-flops all of that information, so everything I just said is wrong. With homerthis placement, I’m supposed to stop living so much in the material world and concentrate on my spiritual connection with my Source.

My knowledge of astrology is greater than average, but I’m not an expert. Therefore, I have to guess. And I’m guessing that this means I’m supposed to find the middle path and ride a sort of infinity/mobius loop. It would appear that this is the lifetime where I’m supposed to perfect walking with one foot in each world.infinity_sign_by_kikoisawesome-d5uaj7x

I asked Sonya Lee, one of the psychics at Vision Quest what she thought, and she agreed. She also told me about an excellent book by Jan Spiller, called Astrology for the Soul. If you’re at all interested in learning more about your nodal placement, start by doing a Google search and read as much as you can find. After that, read Jan’s book. Then, put the top of your head back on. It will have been blown off.

***

FOLLOW UP: I asked my friend Marguerite Manning, Llewellyn’s best-selling author of SIGN LANGUAGE: Decoding Your Contract with the Universe and COSMIC KARMA: Decoding Your Contract with the Universe for her two cents on the subject, and here is what she said:

“Happy 2015 my dear Soul Sister Lisa! I’d be happy to chime in with my “karmic” perspective on the nodes because while they are often overlooked they are very important karmic markers in your birth chart. For me, as a karmic astrologer, they are nothing less than spiritual “directional signals to the soul”. The south node indicating where you’ve spent most of your time in the past (and now MUST move on to bigger and better things if your’e going to evolve) and the north node being THOSE very “bigger and better things”. Things that are NOT in our comfort zone necessarily because they are our “new path” to success and we all know real success requires us to move out of our comfort zone (aka the south node). Now the nice thing about the north node is that it is showing each of us the areas of life (by sign and house) where we can experience real growth (or what we call on this planet: real success).”

Your north being in Virgo shows you have a past for “physical healing” and the practical repair of policies, procedures and yes, people, but now it must be used to “emotionally heal” … the “real victims” of the world. NOT the relatives, friends or associates that make you “feel guilty or too prosperous” in this life. The people you don’t know who really need you to use your practical skills in a more empathic, psychic and spiritual way. (I always see this placement as a physical healer who must now show others that healing the mind and spirit is the complete path to healing.

Thanks, Marguerite!


Lisa Bonnice is the author of five books, including Shape Shifting–reclaiming YOUR perfect body (with a foreword by Neale Donald Walsch) and the comedy novel, Be Careful What You Witch For!

Lisa will be teaching a class at Vision Quest on January 11, 2014 on “Make New Year’s Resolutions work for you, with Shape Shifting“.

Mediumship: Connecting to our loved ones on the other side

61196_148508758524798_100000970241137_228152_2116644_nI took another class at Vision Quest recently, this one on Mediumship. I know a lot of people who say that they have communication with their loved ones on the other side of the veil and I believe that I have experienced the same. But I wanted to take this class to see if I was right.


Similar to my questions when taking the class on Spirit Guides and Angels, I wasn’t sure if the voices I think I’m hearing or the messages I think I’m getting are just my imagination or the real thing. There are times when I very strongly feel a specific loved one’s presence, especially if I’m using my pendulum. I can feel him in the room, hear his voice and see his smile.

John_Beattie_Eugene_Rochas_seanceBut is it real?

The class was taught by Apollo, a metaphysician who teaches lots and lots of classes at VQ. He addressed this question, right off the bat–it’s apparently a common one.

Apollo’s advice was (I’m paraphrasing) if you fear that you’re making it up, go ahead and make it up. Pretend to  have a conversation. Just do it. As you practice, and allow yourself to be open to contact, the stream of information will become stronger and eventually you will feel the difference. You’ll know when you’ve connected.

He led the class in some automatic writing exercises, which were very effective. I felt the same way as I feel when I’m connecting with my favorite “ghost” at home, so it felt validating.

And then, my mind was blown.Crystall-ball

After the exercises, Apollo asked each of us for the name of the person we connected with, and he opened himself up to messages. When it was my turn, he tapped right in. Even he seemed surprised by how strong the connection was. I could see his aura growing large and bright and, as he spoke, his energy body began to actually look like my loved one.

It.

Was.

Amazeballs.

Unfortunately, he was interrupted by someone in the class who decided that this would be a good time to ask a mediumshipquestion, so the connection was temporarily broken. He did manage to tap back in, but the visual sensation was lost.

I was pretty bummed out by the interruption, but, bare minimum, I got what I came for: validation. It’s hard, when you grow up in a skeptical world, to not think you’re crazy when this kind of stuff happens. I’m even mildly uncomfortable writing about it here on my blog, because I don’t want certain family/friends to read it and think I’m nuts.

But I know what I know. I’ve spent my whole life psychically connected and pretending around certain people that I’m not, for fear of being made fun of. No more. The classes I’m taking at Vision Quest are really helping me to come out of the broom closet.

***

Apollo teaches regularly at Vision Quest, at 3114 E. Indian School Road, in Phoenix, AZ. Here is a link to their class schedule.


Lisa Bonnice is the author of five books, including Shape Shifting–reclaiming YOUR perfect body (with a foreword by Neale Donald Walsch) and the comedy novel, Be Careful What You Witch For!

Magical candles that WORK!

7 magi

From the 7 Magi facebook page.

I recently started a new job at a metaphysical bookstore (talk about getting paid for something you’d do for free!!!). I’ve been attending classes, getting psychic readings, and trying products. It’s awesome!


In my reading with Sonya Lee (I talked about her in my most recent blog) she suggested that I try one of Sondra’s candles. Sondra is one of the other psychics (both read Tarot cards, along with other psychic gifts), and she makes and sells magical candles. Sonya said that she’s used them, and they are powerful!

So, why not? I get an employee discount (yay!) so I bought one to correspond with one of the issues we discussed in the reading.

Since then, the situation has not only improved, it’s done so in ways that I never imagined possible. My mind is blown! (I’d give details, but they involve other people, whose privacy I wish to protect.)

I don’t know if Sondra ships them, but if you’re in the Phoenix area, you can find them at Vision Quest Metaphysical Bookstore at 3114 East Indian School Road. Check out Sondra’s facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/7magi


Lisa Bonnice is the author of five books, including Shape Shifting–reclaiming YOUR perfect body (with a foreword by Neale Donald Walsch) and the comedy novel, Be Careful What You Witch For!